cheers :)

2011-06-10T08:28:00.004+08:00

something i picked up from lessons today: schwartzchild radius is an imaginary radius where anything, once within that area, will never be able to escape from the fate of being sucked into the centre, otherwise known as the black hole.

we all have our own schwartzchild radius, don't we? the thing/place/whatever that you will never be able to run away from. we never really forget, we just learn to adapt.

2011-05-16T12:07:00.004+08:00

toronto has been good so far. despite having been here for only 2 days, i felt like i'm actually beginning love this place. the sucker in me misses home initially, but i think as the days passed, the place grew more and more on me. i was sitting in a random cafe along the streets this morning, popped in because the weather was freezing my face but the cafe turns out to be a really cosy place where i could jus sit in for the day with a nice book and a sweet brew of coffee. even as i combed the streets of downtown today, it was quite an experience since u can call this the first time i'm being out alone in another country altogether. eaton centre was bustling with plenty of shops and people, there're even people dancing along the streets! roamed down to harbourfront, which was a nice quiet place with yachts and boats along the lakeside. and it looks beautiful even with the rain, imagine if the weather was kinder! headed over to a friend's apartment for dinner and wii/karaoke, it's always nice to make new friends when u're out and about. especially when we are from different countries! all in all, freezing weather, cosy apartment and homecooked dinner with tonnes of laughter made my day!

a sidenote, the cold weather here makes me think about things more. i could sit around in the wee hours of the day and get lost in my own train of thoughts. sounds a lil melodramatic haha but i guess that's how i am sometimes. i always appreciate such moments because it makes me feel stronger each time, and it builds me up for every pitfall that was to come along the way. i wouldnt say i'm better off this way, or that i'm extremely happy, but i guess life's about coming to terms with reality. keith's words rang in my ears every once in awhile, reminding me that happiness is not granted, and that i mite end up with nothing or everything at the end of the day, so it's better to stay rooted to the ground and quit having fairytale dreams. i'm curious as to what life maps out for me, definitely. i still yearn for happiness, definitely. but i don't really dare to dream again, you can say i'm afraid of falling but yeah that's the idea. but i'll still hold my head high, brace myself up when it's bad and celebrate when it's good. one of the reasons how come i love mickey so much, because i envied how he has minnie by his side for the past 80 plus years. i guess this trip gave me too much food for thought. time to sleep!

Owl City - Fireflies

2011-05-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

Breakeven - The Script (Jayesslee cover)

2011-05-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

i love this song!

2011-05-02T21:59:00.002+08:00

i'm sick of mugging! there shall be no more of two papers on the same day, i hate to be unprepared for one while i'm trying to save myself for the other. i still got two more webcasts *faints* and mom's watching her show so i can only wait until she's done.

enough of the elections updates, i'm in fact starting to get a lil annoyed since newsfeed/twitter are flooded with election updates and comments. i'm sorry that i'm quite pro-PAP, so the mean comments that i see here and there are biting into me even though i'm trying to be more "on the fence" when i read them. enough about all the crossfires for all the parties, opposition or not. stop mentioning first world parliament, and get down to cracking your brains about what you can give the people first. if you're not able to provide solid solutions for the ward you are fighting for, there wouldnt be a parliament to begin with. elections are not about your pride. it's not about voting for you so that you can get into the parliament and as what one candidate said: "band together to tell the driver to turn left if they want to turn right" and "slap him if he sleeps". it's about us, it's about the exact people whom you have been rallying to vote for you. and i'll definitely slap you if you are just "all talk and no action".

it's jus upsetting, this whole elections. and now i see my notes, even more upsetting.

2011-04-30T11:31:00.002+08:00

"HELLO EVERYPARTY TANKS for bothering to read this note. In the spirit of speaking dialects and shouting one-liners in Malay just to act yi ge grassroots, I shall try to keep my language simple. There may be some points that I mention that may seem clearly one-sided, but that's deliberately done, you know, just to have an alternative voice heard; an Opposition to the ruling consensus on the Opposition on the net. I must also make clear that I am not advocating for any party here - this is definitely not one of those "Us versus Them", lame 'WHY I AM GOING TO VOTE FOR XXXX PARTY" notes floating around. If anything, it is best if EVERYBODY considers EVERYPARTY before voting - sometimes the loudest, most popular parties suck the most (like Countdown Parties). This point is for the retarded few, those loudest and most extreme about their anti-PAP views and how they suck and should be brought down at all costs. When people look for flaws, all they see are flaws. Opposition parties pick up these flaws and coat them with honeyed words, AKA candy flaws. Beautiful curvaceous legs are a good thing to look at, but sometimes all people see are the holes in between. Our country's growth has truly been phenomenal - let's for now put aside those arguments about the equality of distribution of this GDP - we, this small dot, have a GDP that surpasses some jealous neighboring giants - TRULY an ASIA outperformer. Now some see the holes in this - "AHA stop being lame. It is universally known that income inequality is yi ge bad in SG. What's the point of high GDP?" Now, equality is a term more complex than Katong Shopping Complex. A pregnant woman who gets the priority seat? A populist protestor trying to win applause from the rest of the tired, standing commuters can shout (with Malay one-liners) that the woman may need the seat more based on her physical needs, but what about mental needs? "I am stressed when I am standing on the train - some guy in the crowd is max volume on his Angry Birds, and the guy behind me keeps pushing and saying excuse me when I myself want to get out also"; or , "Whose money was used to build this train? OUR MONEY. Your unborn son doesn't pay tax, so please give priority to taxpayers, for the sake of equality". The key point here is equality is an Utopian concept - and Utopia is an online game involving dragons, elves and farming. Given the constraint of finite time and finite money and finite manpower, we have to PRIORITISE. Pinker's Trilemma: that a society cannot be simultaneously fair, free and equal. If it is fair, individuals who work harder will accumulate more wealth; if it is free, parents will leave the bulk of their inheritance to their children; but then it will not be equal, as people will begin life with different fortunes. So - populist cries for taxing the rich and giving to the poor - do you think that is meritocratic? What about chronic gamblers and bums who suddenly get welfare allowances just because for being in the lower income bracket? Is that equal? Income inequality is a sad fact of life - we can allieviate it, but not remove it. People comparing extents of freedom of speech between Singapore and US should be more "equal", and also apply the comparison to income inequality - have you ever seen beggars grovelling at Raffles Place Station? I have seen them grovelling a couple steps away from Tiffany & Co. at Wall Street. What about the foreigner gang rape occuring here right now? Perhaps Nicole Seah should take her passport and leave the train and visit more developed countries. The influx of foreigners is everywhere. Globalisation has been happening since millenia ago and is only happening faster and more inexorably. There are probably more Chinese per square foot in Toronto's Eaton Centre than Tanglin Mall. It does indeed take time to adapt - we can ease this process by laughing at loud tiongs and making Leticia jokes at nearly every fast food joint counter - or be xenophobic to the point of Russians attacking random foreigners (youtube if interested) all because Russians are unemployed and the bloody Indians in Russia must be the cause of that. Please bear in mind that all our ancestors were immigrants - if Raffles was some populist nationlistic jerk Raffles Place would have been a country and not a MRT station. Isolationist protests exclaiming how the government is allowing the free market and Adam Smith to gang rape poor private shop owners and family stores are lame. Let's protect the kampongs in 18th century Singapura by sinking Sang Nila Utama's and Raffles's ships then. When China was super isolationist, people complained about the protectionist, stifling governance. When it opened its doors to the world and income inequality came in, they turned around and criticised the deluge of free market forces. A more accurate extension of the popular maid analogy would be that we are all palace dwellers hiring a platoon of maids from the same maid agency - they were trained by the same trainer and follow the same rules, but amongst them, abilities at managing the palace differ - from passionate workers to those who splurge their pay on Spate Kade bags and marry old rich Roti Prata stall owners with lots of strings and teh to tarik. When your dog runs away, do you blame the entire team and strive to sack them and burn the entire agency down and hire a new team of Japanese maids in kinky uniforms who happen to shout Malay one-liners and speak GrassRootian language? Some people on the Internet seem to want to do so. Ability comes from the candidate, and not the party. Failure in one candiate does not apply across the board; the same applies for stellar candidates. Be wary of the empty can rolling around and waking up the neighborhood but containing nothing when finally picked up; it is not a question of whether to have a co driver or not, but whether the co driver will make the driving better in the first place; opposing for the sake of opposing is bringing out the posing in opposing. Using funny analogies does not mean one can manage an entire country. Speaking GrassRootian language gives not much indication one can manage an entire country. Having a glib tongue does not show one can manage an entire country. Hounding nonstop on flaws and mistakes but not giving constructive solutions does not equal to good management of a country. But decades of stability and growth does give a pretty good, though not complete, indication that one can indeed manage a country. Yes, nobody is perfect - by phonetic extension, noparty is perfect. But not perfect does not mean not good. Not good does not mean other party good. Also, yes, having an alternate voice is important - but that's assuming that voice is making sense in the first place. Yes, I feel that ministerial income is lofty to the max- but bringing good leaders down in an attempt to bring salaries down is pure Down's Syndrome. So, after all these, what party am I going to vote for? Maybe PAP, maybe some opposition party, but there is no need to announce it like others."

(Y)

political jadedness

2011-04-27T14:00:00.004+08:00

i hate to see how ugly this election has turned out to be. What started as a bid to instill healthy changes in the governing body of Singapore has become a petty catfight towards the end of the day.

The purpose of having opposing voices is to create that fine line of balance so that both the government and the population could fare well and grow as a nation. The opposition parties started out with the notion of "speaking for the people", "let your voices be made known to them" etc, but how did it became so disappointing in the end? Even after nomination has been filed, all you are capable to do is just to flame the fires and fuel the unhappiness so that you could use it to your advantage? where is the fair play that we are all expecting? Apart from the team of 5 from WP contesting for Aljunied GRC, i'm sorry to say that i have no respect for the rest of the opposing teams.

saying " despite their attempts to tempt you over the years" is not going to help you. Election campaigns are not used as baits to lure people to vote for you. This is for the good of the nation. You garnered enough votes to be the few opposing voices in parliament for the last 20 years because your people supported you, but i don't see it as a case of "your voters are not tempted by the contestants every 5 years". They voted for you because they trusted you. Temptation shouldnt even come into play here. Do give the voters as well as you yourself some level of respect?

saying "if the elections dept do not release their explanations within the nxt 1 hour, there might not be a need for elections at all" does not help either. Now that nominations has been said and done, you are requested to give a short 1 min speech to encourage your voters and to declare the start of all the campaigning efforts. Instead of all these, what i heard was a whole 1 min of how you feel unjustified about the fact that your objection was overruled and how you are gonna demand for justice to be served IN FRONT OF ALL THE SUPPORTERS, both PAP and non-PAP? i dun think that was a gracious act. What i feel was an act to fuel the flames and stir up this sense of hostility among the supporters. Fair play dude, i'm quite sure you're old enough to comprehend that? i don't think it makes you look any nicer now that you're eagerly trying to see your opponents get disqualified. no matter how much disdain you have for your opponents, keep it among yourselves. you don't have to make everyone as agitated as you are so as to stir up any sense of negativity against your opponents.

and saying things like voting them in to see a better parliament/brand new tomorrow instead of just PAP isnt gracious either. we, or at least me, are looking out for possible candidates who can represent us in the government to create progress in the nation, not to see you get into the government so that it's not all white. If you are trying to win over voters, i dun find this kind of statements particularly enticing. yes we need changes, but the intentions of the elections is not to upset the current governing body so that you can get in! and if you're marketing yourself like this, i think it's warped. Shouldnt all these be for the people instead?

I dun like how people are taking this chance to bring down PAP just because they find it unfair. There are flaws, but which government doesnt have flaws? To be frank, we owe a major part of the progress of Singapore over the last few decades to them. If not for them, would we even be standing here today? What i want to say is, we shouldnt forget what they have done for us all these years. I think it says a lot, and it's sad to see how people are against them despite them bringing us forward as a nation thus far. We are often too micro-focusing on details like "how come the government is all from the same party", "how unfair this and that" etc, but this is not the point in question here. There has also been cases where the government could have done better, and i definitely welcome worthy opposition parties like WP to instill healthy changes in the parliamentary body. but please, don't make things so ugly when the GE is supposed to be of a good notion. Be as gracious as the team of 5 contesting for Aljunied GRC when you're up against your opponent for a good fight. By fanning the displeasure of people against the ruling party jus isnt what i expected and definitely not what we would want to see. Do give yourself due respect before commanding that from your voters. Voters have their own judging criteria to stand by and it's definitely not yours to say what's what. Think carefully before we start to judge and eventually vote.

GLEE - Regionals "Get It Right" Full Performance

2011-04-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

2011-04-09T20:40:00.003+08:00

i'm bored, so i'm here (something which i have not done in awhile). i cant seem to concentrate, jumping between different modules which is quite a waste of time actually. i guess that's the result of too many things running through the puny brain of mine, so much so that i lost one precious nite of sleep haha. it's at this point in time where i really wished i had a brother/sister, someone to talk/listen/laugh to so that i dun feel so lonely? hahaha quarter life crisis, i have so much to say but it gets harder and harder to express myself these days.

"Take every chance you get. Because honestly no matter where you end up, or who you end up with, it always ends up the way it should be. Your mistakes are what makes you the person you are today. You learn and grow with each choice. Make everything you do worth it. Live your life as if there won’t be any tomorrow. Say how you feel, always be you, and be okay with it."

2011-03-21T23:50:00.001+08:00

"Everyone is so caught up in their own heartache, they never stop to realize that other people feel things, too. We’re all so convinced that “nobody knows how I feel,” we don’t open our eyes wide enough. Overlooking the people that could help us, we go on with our lives, living in self-created prisons, prisons within our own minds."

2011-03-14T19:27:00.001+08:00

i need to rant. SERIOUSLY marketing sux that's so much freaking work to do. and it's not helping that my stupid body refuses to pick up. i miss being all well and able to rush until the wee hours of the nite. now i'm either bogged down by my headache or flatulence. i cant get any work done at all :( AHHHH upset. now my head feels like it's gonna crack soon. helppppppppppppp.

2011-03-01T18:50:00.001+08:00

i question the validity of your statement. like seriously.

2011-02-26T20:37:00.003+08:00

"words are like water. once you pour water away, you can never take it back; likewise for words, once you said them, you can never take them back"

school's a chore, life's a bore. all i wanna do now is to grit my teeth tight, endure for one more year and graduate.

leave this place
for somewhere faraway
where sparkling starlights
take my breath away

2011-02-21T20:54:00.003+08:00

"they say the pain is excruciating, and it feels like someone just drove a stake right through your heart. the initial impact eventually dies off, but the pain that lingers behind, the other kind of pain, is the one that will never budge no matter how much you try to keep it away."

2011-01-23T20:27:00.003+08:00

hmm two weeks of school jus flew by and i'm, sad to say, still in the holiday mooood. haven been touching my books, everytime i see all the notes i zonked out. so i start to meddle with my com which pretty much meant the wasting of yet another day. plus CNY is so near all i can think about is my angbao money.

so far, year 3 sem 2 has been nothing short of boring. although i enjoy doing preparations during pharm law lab because it's really like COOKING, but that's about it all! haha speaking of cooking, we made love letters, pineapple tarts and cookies over the wkend! wonderful CNY tradition that we stick by every year, i'm glad for all the family love i have.

i paused for ten mins, thinking of what to write. and i realised i've got nothing much to say. perhaps i've too much to say but i cannot seem to pen them down. maybe i should close down this space sooon.

2011-01-12T20:00:00.002+08:00

i have to admit schooldays without labs are heavenly. i was able to finish my book by 3am this morning, before knocking out until 11am. first week of school almost always = last trace of holidays. came across this quote somewhere which says this : no matter how bad you are, you are not totally useless. you can still be used as a bad example. hmm maybe we should be that optimistic in the year ahead!

i wanted to do up some reflections, but am not in the mood to write essays HAHAHA. eh maybe before cny comes hmm.

2010-12-28T15:22:00.002+08:00

jus done packing my cupboard. found a lot of funny things in it that bring back countless memories. kinda nostalgic! but it feels good nonetheless, it feels like finding back a part of you that has gone missing for a long long time. and now i'm sitting under my room's window, typing away with my laptop on my lap. it's a nice stay home afternoon, and suddenly i dun want hols to end that fast.

and it's almost going to be the new year soon. usually i do resolutions, but as i look back on what i made as a resolution for 2010, i think it's too vague to be conclusive. hence this year, it shall be as specific and attainable as it should be! meanwhile i'll make use of the remaining few days of 2010 to think of an apt one for nxt yr.

and i hadnt got a chance to talk about results until now. it slipped my mind subconsciously HAHA. i mean after five sems, you dun really get too much of a "hungover" about results anymore. i'm fine with results, sometimes being easily contented is a good thing! slipped a bit but i did my best so i'm happy for that.

that's about it for now. i'm a boring person i noe.

2010-12-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

2010-12-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

那童年的希望是一台時光機
我可以一路開心到底都不換氣
戴竹蜻蜓穿過那森林
打開了任意門找到妳一起旅行

那童年的希望是一台時光機
妳我翻滾過的榻榻米味道熟悉
所有回憶在小叮噹口袋裡
一起盪鞦韆的默契
在風中持續著甜蜜

2010-12-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

there are enough two faced people in this world, you don't really need to add one more to that never ending list. i'm not saying that people can't express their displeasure to others besides the one intended. but maybe you can try not to be too nice to the intended person to begin with? just so that they don't find your other side of the story too hard to digest when words eventually reach their ears.

2010-12-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

it's not scary when others do not understand you.

it, however, is scary when you don't understand yourself.

and that's exactly how i feel right now.

2010-12-08T20:00:00.003+08:00

now that i've caught up with the airing of vampire diaries in US, that leaves me nothing to watch since the new eps arent uploaded yet. i'm bored now, really really bored.

maybe i should learn how to cook. HMMMMMM.

2010-12-04T11:26:00.002+08:00

am hooked on vampire diaries now! finished season 1 and on to season 2. not quite the typical cliche story about vampires. it's quite interesting how the story unfolds, and because it's quite fast paced so i dun get lost or bored or felt that it was naggy. besides u can't deny the fact that the actors are quite hot inside! haha i'll admit that was the initial reason why i started watching but hey so far it hasnt disappointed me.

done nothing much since hols started. except the usual bumming around. was supposed to get down to registering for my first driving lesson but HMMMMMM haven done so HAHAHA. nxt wk i shall attempt to do so again.

as for now, i'll continue watching my show HOLIDAYS ARE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

lonestar mountains

2010-11-25T16:33:00.001+08:00

do watch! i think it's inspirational.

2010-11-24T22:38:00.004+08:00

almost done for the exams! one last paper and we can all take some time to finally breathe. i couldnt exactly recall when was the last time i did something for myself, but this holiday, i shall do something for myself. be it learning something, doing up something to hang in my room?, or brush up on areas that i'm lacking in (this would take up too much time because i'm lacking in so many areas).

sometimes i feel rather satisfied being myself, but occasionally when i look at some people, i feel small. or rather, i feel like i could do something better or be someone better than who i am right now. guess that's self insufficiency? but then again, after awhile i would feel satisfied with myself again and that cycle goes on. can't help that thought since life hasnt been extremely great lately and i'm mad tired from life in general.

walked home from the train station today, and the wind that accompanied along was so chilly! i guess that's kinda the end-of-the-year feeling, where christmas winter and all that thoughts get clumped together. christmas was never my favourite season because i always felt a tinge of sadness when christmas approaches. u noe like melancholy? something like that. and if the radio happened to be playing silent night, melancholy x 100000000. haha but i wished we had snow here, i would love to have snowball fights again.

like what megan fox says, " people's bullshit and fakeness are the main reasons why i like to be alone".

2010-11-20T14:01:00.003+08:00

i dun want to study anymore. i cannot rmbr shit from the notes. it's damn annoying when i actually rmbr which part of the notes that particular drug is in but when i tried and zoom in to recall, i see BLANKNESS. and BLANKNESS. and MORE BLANKNESS. my brain's a sponge : it's leaking.

and i guess one whole week of cooping at home makes me reflective. i face my bed my notes my com my table my bear. i talk to my bear everyday (i'm jus pouring out the sorrows of exams)... everything except people (fine that excludes my parents cuz i'll see them everyday anyway). it's hard to put that feeling into words. out of touch? lost touch? unfamiliarity? detached? something like that. ah whatever.

maybe i should try hard to talk my dad into the idea of having a dog. i think it makes me happier that way.

2010-11-10T15:21:00.001+08:00

ㄧ个人的时候
在陌生的街头
抬头看着繁星夜垂的天空
I know I know
地球另一端有你陪我
谢谢你鼓励我
勇气是你给我
让我迈开脚步一起往前走
I know I know
你是我的OK绷
在每一个时候

random thoughts

2010-11-06T11:31:00.001+08:00

HAWT.

okaeokae back to the books! (:

sweet.

2010-11-03T00:14:00.001+08:00

2010-11-01T23:41:00.003+08:00

Dear Printer

Must you do this to me every time i tried to print my notes? my hands are full of ugly cuts and scrapped skins all because of you. please spare a thought for me. i do not need all this shit now thank you very much.

Yours Faithfully

your very annoyed owner

2010-10-29T16:01:00.001+08:00

this song's was from this 9pm show on channel 8 months ago. i quite like it!

2010-10-27T21:56:00.002+08:00

i think happiness can be easy, if we let it to be.

i've come to appreciate the pleasures of staying at home recently. because going out means spending money, and all the beautiful things out there tempt me to spend even more money when i'm already trying to make do with my allowance. so... staying home seems like the most viable option.

so i would opt to spend a day just lying on the sofa watching shows or some videos or even reading a book over a cup of coffee! ah sounds relaxing but there's just a dream for now because i barely even have the time to sleep(i sleep a lot actually).

and i told my mom today i dreamt that she told me i could get a dog. having said that, i was trying to tell her how great that would be and how it has been a long long small wish of mine to get a dog. my mom's reply was epic! she said this," well as you have said, you're just dreaming." 98464132157987946 failed attempts but there's always a next time.

and antibiotics series of lectures gonna pwn my ass... NOT. i can do this.

2010-10-24T22:25:00.002+08:00

it's amazing how a youtube video can teach you much better than your lecturer. which also makes me wonder why cant they try and put in as much effort in teaching us as they do for med students?

anyway, dr najeeb's channel is the new in. I AM GOING TO START LISTENING TO THEM AFTER TMRW'S TEST.

2010-10-23T16:55:00.002+08:00

ah patho is making me stupid because the massive amount of info inside is displacing those old ones that i painstakingly memorise and i think i'll cry and eat my fingers when the finals are finally here.

i have to conquer jaundice and liver failure and renal diseases after dinner and maybe if time permits lipids and diabetes too. I FEEL LIKE A LIVING ENCYCLOPEDIA FOR ONE SEC AFTER I FINISH EVERYTHING BEFORE FORGETTING PARTS OF IT THE NXT DAY. my brain is shrinking my brain is shrinking my brain is shrinking i need some koi now. passion fruit tea with aloe vera!

2010-10-21T19:33:00.004+08:00

i want to drink spinelli's cookie spin/ billy bombers cookies&cream milkshake now. any kind souls can do me that favour?

because i'm pms-ing.

2010-10-21T15:20:00.003+08:00

have you ever felt how certain things/people can make you feel small sometimes? once in awhile, i do want to just hole up inside my room on my bed and never come out to face the world again. they never knew the entire story, so i havent quite seen anyone who can truly empathize with how i actually feel. maybe some came close...

Whenever i decided on something and tries to move in the direction of it, somehow they don't realise. all the dreams i have/want, they seemed to be way up there and i'm just hanging by a thread below. i dont know how much longer i can carry on like this.. stuck in a stupid cycle of nothingness.

i longed to live the life i want, to do things based on my own principles. by the age of 21, i believe i have a mind of my own to dictate my life. i'm not saying that i'm not open to suggestions/advice/whatever, but i should at least be entitled to the right to make my decisions... no?

life is short and you only live once.

It’s nice being the photographer and not the subject, and capturing a perfect moment in the most wonderful colours. But there really are some days where you just wish you were the subject, the very thing that made the person pull his camera out in the first place. I’ve resigned to that fate of not being an object of anyone’s desire, nor someone who emanates such grace and beauty that is worth capturing.

my newborn nephew!

2010-10-20T15:02:00.006+08:00

baby ansley was born ytd! :D adorable cute ahhhhhhh babies always make me go gaga! new headcount into the family everyone's really excited. we were taking turns to carry him in the ward and he ended up crying every time arms were switched. babies evoked motherly instincts in us too I HAVE TO ADMIT.

in other news, med chem jus pwn my ass, pharmaco's so fast so that i cant rmbr details of the test, patho is making me vomitting. WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

2010-10-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

In Spring 2010 a new line of beautiful diamond engagement rings will be released from Disney. Each ring is inspired by one of the classic Disney Princesses.

The rings were designed by Kirstie Kelly who also designs corresponding Disney Princess wedding gowns for brides as well as bridesmaid dresses to go along with each brides dress.

Each engagement ring will have a matching wedding band. The current six rings that have been unveiled are for Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel and Belle.

The Walt Disney Company states about the engagement rings: “Subtle references to the personalities of each princess can be seen throughout the collection such as pave and millgrain borders, suggestive of Cinderella’s ethereal grace and charm, or baguettes and clean lines for Ariel, symbolic of an art deco influence and her bold individuality.”

i like ariel's one! :D disney fantasies always make the day woohoo!

2010-10-16T11:29:00.003+08:00

i think he looks cute with his hair flat down.

2010-10-15T23:12:00.004+08:00

get tired easily these days. even though i slept quite a lot ytd (as compared to normal), i'm damn tired now. if not for all the stupid drug names that are clogging up my brain cells, i'll gladly go slp rite NOW.

2010-10-14T18:50:00.002+08:00

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the stars
And make it to the dawn?

2010-10-13T15:51:00.003+08:00

you never wanted to hear my story. because to you, i'm always wrong. and no matter what i do, i'm never right. never.

2010-10-06T19:37:00.002+08:00

the theme song for final fantasy 10! loved it since i first heard it in sec sch (:

61 years of happiness

2010-10-06T19:17:00.004+08:00

"to love, to hold and to cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

2010-10-02T16:04:00.001+08:00

can someone drive me to my aunt's place i'm so lazy to take a bus there :( plus i wanna swimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm at her house but the longer i bum around at hm means that i wont get to swim in the end. i want a car and license NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

2010-10-02T12:39:00.003+08:00

season 5 jus ended on channel 5 and i read online that they are not gonna be filming any more seasons. I AM EMOING NOW BECAUSE OF THIS.

2010-09-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

med chem CA's over! even though it wasnt a fantastic paper but ah well the main idea is NO MORE MED CHEM CA! ehh although there's still finals but let's put that aside first. after med chem CA, the girls went to sweat ourselves out a bit with a mixture of vball, netball, captain's ball, HOT (-floored) yoga stretching and not to forget, SOCCER! even though we were barefooted (that's a courage because the ground is hot the ball is hard!) but i guess we had fun.

hopped over to vivo's earl's swensons for dinner, and dinner was equally full of laughter! i forgot the last time i laughed that much in a day, but they say laughing produces endorphins and burns calories so the more laughter the merrier. countless jokes and random comments such as sk's cotton candy machine, siangsiang's funny bone triggered by wj, helen's obsession with chest hair and the various treatments (think rebonded chest hair hahaha) etc etc etc. felt like the end of exams even though it's jus the end of one CA. THIS PROVES THAT WE ARE OVERLY SUPPRESSED IN PHARM, which is why we became overactive after the suppression is lifted!

now on to sdl report. trying to figure my way through and hopefully it'll be up by tonite! was having hunger pangs and i opened my bag to one box of uncle toby's chewy choc chip fruit bars! smart choice to buy this in sci co-op that day :D

there is a song to comfort you through any situation in life. that means someone else made it through that very moment you did, and lived to write that song just to help sing you through the moment you're going through and bring you out of it. you're never alone.

2010-09-26T20:49:00.004+08:00

got a chain text from my cousin awhile ago and it reminded of all the greeting text messages that i used to have during secondary sch. loved the feeling when u wake up in the morning, saw on your screen "1 message received" and when u opened it up, it's this cute lil bear made up of symbols and numbers greeting a good morning in a huge speech bubble. or those good nite greeting text messages with some cute cartoons wishing you have a good nite sleep with tonnes of sweet dreams. or those with a huge mug steaming hot telling you to mug hard and jiayou all the way when exams are drawing near.

i kept the top 25 greeting text messages that i've ever received since i first got my phone in sec 1 and which i felt was sweet/heartwarming/meaningful/whatever u called them, but they disappeared along with my phone when it spoilt. actually it's the battery that's gone so as long as i can find a new nokia 8250 battery, i can relive those memories along with it. haha i find it quite hard to get a 8250 battery now that smartphones are dominating the market.

but nonetheless, those text messages are rarely seen these days (or maybe it's jus that i no longer receive them anymore). and i missed those greeting text messages. it always reminds me constantly that someone out there, somehow, does think about you once in awhile.

()````() WAIT!
("( 'o' )")
( . )/( . )

DON'T SLEEP YET!
()````()
( -O- )
( . )
(``) (``)

i'm here to tell you GOODNITE
and SLEEP TITE!

btw i got more than 5 texts back! so i'm a spoilt girl today hehe (:

2010-09-26T17:32:00.004+08:00

HOTMAIL LOCKED ME OUT OF MY OWN ACCOUNT I CANT SIGN IN TO CHECK MY EMAILS I CANT LOG ON TO MSN I CANT CHECK EMAILS THROUGH MY PHONE I CANT EVEN GO ONLINE ON MY PHONE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S MAKING ME VEH PISSED.

2010-09-26T11:29:00.002+08:00

Ben Jones | August 23, 2006

"50 Things"

Dear Class of 2010,

This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).

As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.

Here goes...

1) Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.

2) Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.

3)In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.

4)Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.

5)Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.

6)If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.

7)At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.

8)Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.

9)Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)

10)Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.

11)Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.

12)When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.

13)In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.

14)Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.

15)All-nighters are entirely overrated.

16)For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.

17)Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.

18)Take risks.

19)Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.

20)Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)

21)Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.

22)Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.

23)It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.

24)When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."

25)Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.

26)Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.

27)Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.

28)Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.

29)No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.

30)If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.

31)Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.

32)Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.

33)Your health and safety are more important than anything.

34)Ask for help. Often.

35)Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.

36)In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.

37)In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.

38)On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.

39)Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.

40)Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.

41)Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.

42)Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.

43)If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.

44)Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.

45)Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.

46)Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.

47)Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.

48)Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.

49)Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.

50)This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.

Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

-B

http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/life/workplay_balance_at_mit/50_things.shtml

even though there's only two years left, let's make the best out of it before there's nth left!

2010-09-25T12:57:00.001+08:00

pretty!

2010-09-24T13:43:00.002+08:00

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

currently hooked on this song! :D

2010-09-23T10:44:00.001+08:00

Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebokin'
You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
So what we gon' have, dessert or disaster?

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in, and knocked me on my face
Feels like in I'm a race
But I already won first place

I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did
(As hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinkin' bout our life our house and kids, yeah
Every mornin' I look at you and smile
'Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down
Knocked me down

Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down

I never thought I'd, hear myself say, ooh, ya'll gon' head
I think I'm gonna kick it wit my girl today, kick it wit my girl today
I used to be commander and chief
Of my pimp ship flyin' high, flyin' high)
Til I met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky
(Oh shot me out the sky)

Hey, now I'm crashing, don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could back, and make it happen faster
Don't you know I would baby if I could
Miss Independent, ohh, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helpin' me pull it
She shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight
Girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down

lanterns and mooncakes

2010-09-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

it's mid autumn festival today. came home and saw so many kids downstairs playing with lanterns and running about. even though i veh much wanted to hold a lantern, run about and laugh like how the kids are laughing rite now, which i didnt get to do so this year, i'm still glad i get to enjoy mooncakes with my parents! made me realised i haven been home for the past few mid autumn festivals to properly sit down with them because that feeling felt really familiar yet forgotten. also made me understood the fact that even if the whole world forsakes you, your parents will never do that.

did i mention it's my parents' wedding anniversary too? every mid autumn festival! saw how they committed themselves to the marriage, share the happiness and work out their differences, it was nvr easy but they walked through all of it together. i guessed i had too much to learn from them.

2010-09-21T19:19:00.002+08:00

he's so cute!

2010-09-21T00:14:00.004+08:00

Hold your dreams. Don’t ever let it go. Be yourself and let the world take notice.

there are like so much stuffs to complete with so lil time. wonder how am i gonna get pass this sem haha. now's mid sem already and my brain still feels empty like nothing that i've learnt sticks. I WANT TO GO ON A HOLIDAY. NOWWWWWW.

and u noe, we should all learn to ignore the judgemental voices of irrelevant people around us and focus on ourselves. it's so not worthwhile to let people's voices (those that are not important AT ALL) drown out your own. if they are judgemental, that jus goes to show how much they don't know about you. and it also goes to show how much these people dun mean anything to you too. be yourself today, and smile at the fact that these hypocritical people actually exist. because one day u'll realise you have become a better person because of them.

quoting my friend ," SCREW YOU!"

btw ahlian, this picture is for you! :D

2010-09-20T23:49:00.002+08:00

2010-09-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

somehow, somewhere, someday, i'll be fine.

2010-09-08T15:50:00.000+08:00

2010-09-04T14:01:00.002+08:00

patho's been a chore but at least i'm starting to get the gist of it. extra efforts needed to make the information stick in my brain because i convinced myself that it will all be worthwhile. YES IT WILL BE.

"this life is what you make it. No matter what, you're gonna mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. Just because you fail once doesnt mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

what's left is just a shell

2010-09-01T13:46:00.001+08:00

i feel dead. or maybe i have already died.

2010-08-28T23:37:00.001+08:00

i see the wave coming. should i stay or run?

2010-08-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

work work work. so many things to do, too lil energy and too lil time. i haven touched my books at all when i bet everyone is mugging their ass off. hello to year 3 sem 1.

i think i need a holiday. although the ironic thing is hols jus ended. maybe i need an overseas holiday. sometimes being back home simply holds too much for me to bear, it feels good to jus escape from reality once in a while. no? for a moment, if those dreaming devices in inception do exist, i dont particularly find it a bad idea. some people simply sleep to dream.

my dad jus said my face looked black. like literally black. and i took a closer look at the mirror and realised that i looked old and worn out. if there was any shine to my face to begin with, they are all gone. i need some tonics and good food! too much instant noodles and improper meals/no meals these days!

felt like i've lost touch with a lot of people. i dun reckon it's anything to do with them, i think i'm the antisocial one here. haha sorry if i dun speak much these days, or i've just seemed like i've got a whole load of attitude problems, or i jus simply become less chatty/smile less. i dread school, and it is tiring enough to have to go to sch everyday to learn all sorts of chim information. chim until it jus flows in and out of my brain and doesnt stay at all haha. need to buck up soon. NEED TO BUCK UP SOOOOON LIKE NOWWWWWW.

2010-08-08T22:51:00.006+08:00

as we grow up, we tend to come across weird people with mean intentions every now and then. maybe these people are jus too free to mind their own business, or that they are jus feeling sour over the fact that they dun have the things others have. but these weirdos need to learn how to grow up one day. going around jeopardising other people's lives definitely isnt the way to grow up for one. neither is making malicious comments the way out. but these weirdos are jus not capable of handling their own lives well so we cannot blame them entirely when they try to disrupt the balance of other people's otherwise peaceful lives. at this point in time, we should realise that since we cannot stop these weirdos from creating trouble, the veh least we can do is to not be receptive to the ideas they are trying to plant. to stay firm to our own beliefs no matter how strongly it swayed. to remain positive so that you can spite the shit out of these weirdos. to smile at every effort that these weirdos are making in trying to mess up the intricate balance of your life even though they fail to realise that they are actually making you more alert to the lil details in your life and slowly appreciate and learn. and when all else fails and nothing works, to remain calm and composed so that if the need arises, you can tell them nicely to fuck off.

a moment ago, i was reading through this old blog of mine and i found the stuffs written really funny. the whole tone of mine back then was kiddish, but my thoughts were simple straightforward and happy. haha amused over how happy i can get over small lil things like "we threw a five cent coin to decide where to go for lunch jus because one wants long john one wants delifrance and the other sits on the fence" and "i couldnt find my pe shorts so i have to wake pig up at 6am to beg her for a pair hahahaha". and so much more. i miss those days to be frank, when going to school was an enjoyment and all the more when i see my friends whom i noe will stick by me even when the sky falls.

what are your treasures
where are your hopes
when u've got the world
but lost your soul

2010-08-02T14:28:00.003+08:00

so now pharm rag is competing. because now, both sci club president and current sci rag head is fine with the idea that pharm can compete, so nussu rag head decided we can compete. WTF. makes it feel like we're being predisposed to sci's decisions. like... they say u die means u die. u live means u live. haha it's like we're some kinda joke.

or maybe that's how some things function. jus like how one big body can get screwed up because two cells went haywire inside (alrite that sounds like a bad relation but u get my pt). and this normally applies wherever u go. like one person who has more authority than u decide that he/she dun like you, so they make your life damn miserable when maybe the issue is actually small insignificant. because of the alter ego of some idiots, the rest suffer. but more often than not, that's how the whole world functions. at the end of the day, no one gives a shit about how you are going to suffer, only you will bother about yourself. sad sad world.

2010-07-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

being resolute and firm is a good thing perhaps, because it gives u the directions and answers that u need. once u made a decision, stick through with it and move forward. because life still goes on. and things will smooth out on its own regardless of what your decision is, if they are meant to. it's okae to cry and be really tired now, to feel like the whole world is crashing down on you, to feel that uncertainty. because one day u will stand stronger than ever, laugh at how silly u used to be and most importantly have someone who appreciates u for who u are.

2010-07-27T13:37:00.002+08:00

i feel like a hollow shell.

2010-07-22T00:27:00.002+08:00

i wonder what i'm doing these days. always felt as if i left a part of me at home when i'm out of the house.

2010-07-14T23:18:00.000+08:00

Sitting in front of the tv watching my dvd. The words that were mentioned in the show made sense, that maybe we should all live for ourselves once in awhile.

espanol

2010-07-12T17:26:00.002+08:00

finals at 2.30am last nite made me look like a dead fish now. i almost dozed off a few times during the 90 mins, but didnt because i'll try and keep my eyes open every time it almost closed. saw plenty of yellow cards flying around but no goals. TIRED. comfortably dozed off for 10 mins during the 1st extra, and finally become more alert during the 2nd extra AND finally saw the ball fly into the net 4 mins before end of extra time. THAT woke me up :D

had 4b outing during the day, cycling macs korean bbq. nothing beats the silent air among old friends. like what sy said, we watched each other grew up. jus three words i have : 4B seh lorz. :)

mom wants to go running at ecp but i dun feel like moving at all.

2010-07-10T15:24:00.002+08:00

my room's like a battlefield now. how am i supposed to pack all the clothes into the cupboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now my bed's full of clothes zzz. but blasting my speakers on my laptop in my room with my air con switched on and bumming around is GOOD. haha i like this feeling PLUS IT LOOKS LIKE IT GONNA RAIN SOON all the more the better! :D plus i found a couple of nice songs. SLACK SLACK SLACK.

it's a quarter after one

2010-07-10T01:00:00.002+08:00

i'm sleepy but not tired. actually i'm staring at the com not knowing what to do. considering if i should watch some online movies or my dvds. but felt like i would maybe jus doze off halfway anyway. didnt get my daily dose of caffeine today, that can of iced mocha jus isnt as powerful as my dad's home brewed coffee. and did i mention how nice my dad's home brewed coffee is?

i'm glad i didnt sign up for the oncology congress. maybe i miss out on the learning part if i really do get to sit in for the congress but still, i need my sleep. it's a saturday after all and i strongly believe that i do not have the ability to get my ass off my bed tmrw. all the more if it rains tonite.

felt like i'm blabbering rubbish. need to sleep like NOW.

2010-07-07T22:59:00.007+08:00

germany vs spain in another 3.5 hours. better go catch some sleep before waking up to yell my head off in front of the tv! please please play a good and exciting game so that my great effort in trying to wake up later is worth it. AND I'M GONNA SNACK ON ICE CREAM LATER :D

three bbs!

<3

same nail colour. how gay!

i love ice cream :D

and if u're reading this ht, BEST PROFILE PIC EVER HAHAHAHAHA THANK YOU VEH MUCH (:

off to bed!

2010-07-03T23:59:00.004+08:00

GERMANY! cant say how exhilarated i feel but watching germany play carries with it a fantastic feeling! many teams found it hard to score even one goal in the game, but they shot like FOUR per game? haha cool stuffs. young but wonderful players in the team along with a charming coach :D :D :D

2010-06-26T14:16:00.000+08:00

"inevitably, all pain is about longing for yesterday - whatever we had before, whatever we used to be. but when pain doesnt go away fast enough, we criticize ourselves for not getting over it, for not being strong enough, or even for being vulnerable in the first place. thats not how wounds heal. they dont obey our wishes. healing takes place in its own way and in its own time."

2010-06-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

WTF IS WRONG WITH MSN. NOW THAT I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF MOOD, DUN SCREW ME UP.

life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2010-06-17T22:53:00.003+08:00

as of many things in life, they aren't always fair but they are still good. instead of constantly thinking about what you can't have, why not learn to treasure the things that you already have?

and south korea was whacked hard by argentina. thought there was hope when the first half of the match ended, but...

it's okae! the only promising asian team still stand a chance to make it to the top 16 i think.

and spain lost. PLS PLS PLS last until the final few rounds i dun want the team i'm rooting for to be knocked out!

2010-06-12T23:50:00.002+08:00

haven started on my report yet. too lazy to start in fact because the desire to slack is way too strong.

i find life rather pointless. shit this is bad.

2010-06-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

gossip gossip gossip why not jus zip your mouth up.

2010-06-06T11:50:00.002+08:00

last two weeks of preceptorship! cant say i particularly enjoy preceptorship nor do i hate it, jus that our preceptor nicely put me and weeboon in different shifts so the work gets boring when the store is so quiet. i'll jus bum around the store and wonder off in my own thoughts until i see a customer coming in and i'll snap back and work again. for most of the time i'm not at the counter (so sad because there's chair at the counter), so i'll be roaming around the store like a vagrant. combined shifts are more fun i guess, cuz yeah we spent half the time talking haha both constructively and not and time seems to go by faster that way. you noe i cant really survive without talking. was afraid to get a non chatty partner at the start, but yeah weeboon is far from that WAHAHAHAHA so thankful. but our preceptor re-empt that so HAIYA WASTED.

but most of the aunties in the store are nice! (note MOST). like auntie joyce! the first thing she told me after not seeing me for three days was ," XIAOMEI! auntie hen xiang ni leh! so many days never see you. haiyo how come u are not in the morning shift this week! i like to do the same shift with you leh!" haha it warms me everytime i hear this (yeah auntie joyce tells me that every other week), makes the work seems less boring! and she and auntie eileen like to tell me that they treat me jus like their own daughter so anything jus ask them will do :D lovely people! and auntie eileen always buys food for me! she'll whisper veh softly that she left some food in the store and that i go have it when there's not much people in the store. SWEET :D

haha people like auntie joyce and eileen makes up the beautiful part of retail. but still, the job scope wise is ... let's jus say it's not what i would want to do as of now. we'll see howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

and i haven got my bum down to doing the report, so screwed but i'm not panicky, so even more screwed.

2010-05-22T13:10:00.002+08:00

does anyone even understand? that how it feels like to have no say in things that i want to do. no say in this no say in that, then what's the point in living anyway when u dun even get to live for yourself? i have to factor in so many things each and every time, up to the extent that i dun even get the chance to execute my plans the way i want it to be. or up to the extent that i dun get to do what i want in the end. reality always deviates from expectations, from dreams, from the perfect picture. so i've stopped expecting too much and having my hopes raised too high. but will you pls pls pls stop dashing my hopes and making me live like a puppet? or rather after living like one for after almost 21years, can i pls for goodness' sake have my life back for once? i've had enough of being controlled and trying to please everyone. why not try pleasing me for a change. or tell me why can't i live like the way u said i could?

2010-05-18T19:28:00.004+08:00

work was busy today! because every tue is unity's discount day (5% discount for all senior citizens), the whole shop was flooded with people. running around the shop trying to find products for people, talking until my throat went sore because of the need to explain and match the people their symptoms to the desired products or medications. kinda interesting in a way, esp when u get the medications right for the right people. some old folks are really nice, but of course there are real nasty customers who perhaps thought customers are always right. like what my preceptor said, all these nasty people always come with the "maid" mentality, treating us jus like how they would treat their maids. not to mention my preceptor scolded the lady, saying she's a bitch but behind her back of course(when that woman glared at us -_- because she refused to listen to our advice and insisted on buying this pedometer. which of course doesnt suit her, and she came back the nxt day to make such a din in the store and being so demanding when she obviously spoilt the box and STILL wanted to exchange for other goods. so of course that's such a bitch). but yeah, hate it when these people boss us around.

but let's not forget the kind and nice patients amongst the few nasty ones, i really appreciate the nice people for their patience when me the newbie is trying hard to follow and learn alongside. spent almost 2hours today trying to find out what medications i can give to patients with particular conditions that we typically see coming to the shop, but its worth it! at least, i can save on consultation fees now!

only naggy part is the report that we are supposed to submit. i haven started at all!

2010-05-15T13:31:00.002+08:00

when the huge waves come crashing down, would you let them wash you away or would you stay and brace yourself for the impact? or would you, with your greatest efforts, go against them?

2010-05-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

two days of preceptorship, alrite technically speaking it's four days inclusive of the two days orientation. didnt knew it could be so tiring, despite not doing much. i guess it's all that standing around that makes me tired, after the first day of work i really feel like sleeping. ANYWHERE IS GOOD ENUF jus let me sleep. not to mention my feet is painful like mad with blisters and red patches around. i need a chair or my back's gonna suffer for the nxt 6wks.

didnt do much counselling actually, mostly we were asked to comb the shop and learn some daily routines like cashiering packing opening/closing of accounts. kinda not pharmacy related actually, not exactly wat i was looking out for. but then again maybe there's jus the front few days, we'll see how it goes. now i need a chair, or a pair of good comfortable shoes before i become all hunched and old!

some of the people that visited the pharmacy really amused me quite a bit haha. not gonna talk about it here since PATIENT'S INFO IS ALWAYS CONFIDENTIAL. haha but well it brought us quite a fair bit of laughter, the way they behaved and all. eye-opening in a way, but it gonna get boring 6wks down the road if everything's the same old thing everyday.

i'm sleepy. time to head off to bed cuz i only slept like 6hrs ytd? with sucha achy body i think i need more rest before i fall sick. night shift tmrw go go go!

2010-05-08T21:30:00.002+08:00

i wanna spend my 21st birthday in disneyland florida.

which is p e r f e c t l y i m p o s s i b l e.

which is why i didnt wanted a party, because i wont be able to have it in a place i really wanted to begin with.

maybe i'll jus have to keep this on hold till further notice haha when i actually have the ability to do this. way to go!

2010-05-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

for a moment, i tout that preceptorship will be a 5days thing, now the duty roster sent is a 6days per week roster -_- 3pm-10pm even on a saturday or sunday. TSK.

2010-05-04T23:44:00.004+08:00

i was reading through this old blog that i used to share with the girls, and boy i had a really good laugh. nostalgic too, brought back tonnes of memories that even i had forgotten. some photos were damn funny too! cant believe how much we changed over four years (first post was dated back to 2006). but it's always comforting to know that old friends will always be there when anything happens, be it happy or shitty. they'll always be there to offer their shoulders tissue and stand by me when everything is down. in short, you guys keep me sane among all these insaneness.

and it's sucha irony how many young kids cant wait to grow up.

it's really amazing how time flies because i myself cant believe that i survive two years of pharmacy. even though the nxt two years wont get better but well, we are all tuned to function in the pharm-way. two years back i would never expect myself to be doing what i am doing now, but things hadnt turned out worse than it could have so i should just count my blessings. if i hadnt chose all these, i wouldnt have met the people i have met, so for that i'm veh thankful. and it's jus for that.

i feel empty. i feel like i'm wasting my life away. i feel like i'm passing everyday jus because ... they have to pass. sometimes i dun even noe what i want.

2010-04-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

这一生只愿只要平凡快乐,谁说这样不伟大呢

2010-04-25T00:46:00.000+08:00

"They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style."

-sex and the city 2 may 27th 2010 :D

2010-04-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

so rmbr dun piss me off hahaha :D

2010-04-22T23:30:00.004+08:00

have to admit life gets boring sometimes. and it jus dawned on me that we shouldnt really take things or people for granted. because when they're gone, you start to fidget, ponder with that sunken feeling deep down and stone while you get lost in your own thoughts about what used to be the so called better times and maybe start to feel better. The next thing you noe, you get drawn back to reality again *snap snap* and realise that you're day dreaming and that sunken feeling sets back again.

i rmbr there used to be this guy in class, who was soft spoken quiet all in one. den the hols came during sec 4 and he went for this "super teen" camp. after he came back, he became overly outspoken enthusiastic hyper and the whole class was stunned amused at that drastic change. wonder what the camp did to him haha and even though we always joke about this among ourselves, i cant help but feel that perhaps we all need a small dose of that (maybe jus half of that would suffice) now, to start becoming altruistic about all that we are doing now and hang on for jus that lil while more.

2010-04-21T19:53:00.002+08:00

i'm having a stye on my eye now it's kinda red and swelllllllllish. I DIDNT PEEK AT ANYONE BATHE :(

btw nice song here, jus listen and dun emo!

沒那麼簡單黃小琥

沒那麼簡單就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安只好強悍誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變的實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己做決定

不想擁有太多情緒一杯紅酒配電影
在週末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜

幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變的實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己做決定

不想擁有太多情緒一杯紅酒配電影
在週末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜

幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀

曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經
想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

if you could just stop and think

2010-04-20T23:39:00.005+08:00

dun you think it's sad when u come to realise that any extra time u have has become a luxury? and it's even worse when it's so hard to want something so simple.

and i hate it when i dun get the respect i deserve.

maybe i'm getting cranky because exams are nearing. at least i deserve the right to be cranky when i'm alone, no?

2010-04-20T23:17:00.002+08:00

roundabout. late. black. rain. sweat. bottle. fireworks. laughter.

and many more (:

2010-04-14T23:17:00.006+08:00

one bad thing after another. the whole world is bullying me RAWR go away. i'm gonna feed on my fingers again and i seriously hate a life like that. there goes all my plans... whatever. life sux. my mom's so hard to please she's behaving like someone jus owe her a million bux and that sux too. i dun think i owe anyone anything. in fact, the only person that i think i owe a lot to... is myself. DAMN.

did i even mention i'm sucha goner for finals? someone punch/slap/whack me before i give up on all these shit.

and i haven watch dragon yet -_-

2010-04-14T00:31:00.003+08:00

:D :D :D :D :D :D

2010-04-11T21:07:00.005+08:00

when people choose to go ahead with whatever decisions they had made, despite you feeling negative, how many times did these people stop to consider about your feelings? at the end of the day, it boils down to the exact same issue, that is are you important enough to influence their decisions. because when u're not, no one's gonna bother about how u think and what u feel, and at times like this, even u start to doubt yourself and that's when everything starts going down.

btw, biotech is sucha pain in the ass. can time slows down a bit cuz i neeeeeda breatheeeeee.

2010-04-06T21:25:00.002+08:00

One of the jokes the lecturer randomly cracks at our microbio lecture :
I have a bird,
Its name is Enza,
I open the window,
In flew Enza (In-Flu-En-Za)
geok ying ahh geok ying, i salute u. HAHA one of the blur-rest lecturer i've ever seen, but she always looks contented in her own lil world, so maybe being blur isnt that bad after all.

my pillar of support

2010-04-02T23:38:00.007+08:00

got my new phone today, queued at the singtel shop for ages -_- long fat queue with inconsiderate people and no seats. i waited for like ... 3hours? haha so much for having tests nxt wk and tonnes piling up for final exams. but perhaps all these doesnt worry me THAT much anymore because all i want is to graduate from pharmacy and get myself out of this place. i love healthcare, but i'm not cut out to be competitive i guess. i prefer having dinner after sch with a bunch of friends rather than rushing hm all the way jus so that i could complete one more set of notes. maybe that's why i suffer at the eve of every test and paper, but i cannot help it. the world's sucha cold place these days :/

i always knew bitches exist, but i nvr knew there were so many of them. in fact, i see them so often that i feel disgusted to be associated with them even. instead of drowning yourself in all those silly fantasies , why dun u jus get a life.

when you look at old photos

2010-03-27T22:48:00.004+08:00

maybe growing old isnt that good an idea after all. rmbr how we used to envy grown ups, having been able to do what they fancy and free to make their own decisions. now that i'm almost a grown up myself (not yet 21), i realise how wrong i was. growing up has all the flaws that i've nvr seen when i was young (too blind), and it's sucha ironic thing to actually be envying times when i was still young and childish and all. but at the veh least, things were so much more carefree. and so much more simple. guess growing old complicates things to a certain extent. however, after all the envying, it's still better to snap back to reality. because at the end of the day, it's not possible to go back in time.